The Bachelor Episode 2: The Week in Quotes

Shirtless Sean count: 6 scenes

First date goes to….Sarah!

“I didn’t need an explanation, she’s gorgeous!” – Bachelor Sean, referring to Sarah’s explanation about the fact that she has only one arm. Sean may not need an explanation but it seems like the camera operators do. There were a ridiculous number of close-ups of Sarah’s partial arm.

“I do consider myself a man.” – Bachelor Sean

“He is the perfect guy for me.” – Sarah. After one date with Sean.

Next up, group date:

“He was kind of, like, ‘Princesses! I’m coming!'” – Selma, describing Sean at the castle, who definitely didn’t use the voice she used.

“Harlequin novels – the most trusted name in romance.” – Bachelor Sean. Really? Is ‘trusted’ the word you want to use?

(Side note: If my years as a second hand book store employee taught me anything it’s that Harlequins are terrible. Seriously, you can not give those things away.)

“Did you see Kristy’s reaction? Homegirl’s a little excited?” – Katie

Why was Kristy so excited? Isn’t she supposed to be a professional model? Presumably, she goes on photo shoots all the time…does she refer to them all as “a dream come true”? (Also, I would be super embarrassed to win a contest that meant I would appear on the cover of a Harlequin novel.)

“I don’t appreciate her personality.” – Robyn, speaking about Tierra. She said other things about Tierra but this was the only statement I felt comfortable quoting in a blog that my mother and my mother-in-law read.

“I look like I’m going to an 80s rock concert. But I need some dental work.” – Katie, who was styled for a vampire romance scene. Yep, that’s a “real” genre now. Thanks, Stephenie Meyer!

“I thought he would be shirtless in all of them.” – Catherine, who is disappointed that Sean’s shirt is merely unbuttoned and not all the way off.

“This is, like, not okay with me.” – Daniella, re: Lesley and Sean making out a few feet away from her.

“I feel excessively uncomfortable here.” – Katie. That’s probably because you seem like a normal person. Katie further proves this by deciding to leave the mansion and going home. Best of luck, Katie, as you live your normal life.

“The second time around you’re a lot smarter.” – Kacie, who made the choice to be on the Bachelorette. Twice.

“I wanted to punch her.” – Tierra, when Kacie receives the group date rose.

One-on-One Date with Desiree:

“Tonight we’re going to test Desiree.” – Bachelor Sean. That’s exactly what girls want guys to say before their first date, right?

“Go put yourself together.” – Host Chris Harrison, gesturing to his own suit while speaking to Sean, who is wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

“Are you sure it’s not burnt? Has it been in the oven the whole time?” – Desiree, when Sean tells her dinner is ready at his place. I think she was joking and if so, this is funny. But I’m concerned that I couldn’t tell for sure.

“It just felt right…to make out a little.” – Desiree, on her first date with Bachelor Sean.

“It’s scary to know girls like Lindsay can pop on to my radar.” – Bachelor Sean, who meant this as a compliment but it makes Lindsay sound like a Soviet submarine.

“I feel like tonight is literally a tornado…of negativity.” – Daniella, who does not know what the word literally means. Or what a tornado is.

“I’ve dated everybody.” – Bachelor Sean. You certainly have.

“You’re fluent in Farsi?” – Selma. Sweetie, think before you speak. (Selma, it seems, speaks Farsi and Arabic, so that’s cool.)

“I feel like she may not be here for the right reasons.” – Lesley M, speaking about Amanda. We should start a “right reasons” count.

Brooke and Diana went home after the rose ceremony.

My favourites after the second episode: Desiree and Leslie H. They’re really pushing the connection between Sean and Desiree on their date which makes me think it will not be Desiree at the end but she does seem like a nice girl. Maybe she’ll be the next Bachelorette.

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