Bachelor Sean – Episode 3

“I had no idea I would have feelings for girls this early.” – Sean

Yeah, yeah, you’re so surprised. It is weird to me that he would have feelings at all for women he’s barely spent an hour with, but the lead says this every season. You’d think they’d stop being surprised.

“This could totally take our relationship to the next level. Which is a great thing.” – Lesley M., re: her one-on-one date with Sean.

Yep, a date where there aren’t other girls is usually a good step in a relationship.

“It’s literally a dream come true.” – Lesley M.

Another girl who doesn’t know what literally means. Which is too bad because I feel like Lesley M. is supposed to be this season’s “smart” girl.

“Normally I would probably wait until the evening to crank up the romance.” – Sean

No, you wouldn’t want to do anything romantic during the daytime. Not on a date. This made me laugh because my first two dates I ever had with my husband were breakfast dates. I didn’t realise it was so unconventional for them to have been romantic.

“There’s a huge crowd.” – Lesley M. re: the crowd gathered to watch her and Sean break the world record for longest on-screen kiss.

There’s not a huge crowd. In fact, the camera is very carefully staying panned in to make us think there might be more people there. There’s not. Would you gather on the sidewalk to watch two strangers kiss for three and a half minutes?

“Three minutes and fifteen seconds is a long time to kiss.” – Sean, who doesn’t seem all that excited.

“At first it’s so passionate. And then it’s a little awkward.” – Lesley M.

That might be the truest statement of the episode.

“The hardest part was trying not to laugh.” – Sean.

I’m sure Lesley M. loved hearing that.

“It’s a little awkward, watching them.” – lady on the street.

Oh wait, there it is. The truest statement of the episode.

“I know what it takes to win on and off the field.” – Amanda, who seems to think she is auditioning to star in some sort of sporty PSA when she is, in fact, going on a date with twelve other women.

“The moment I see Chris Harrison I know things are not going to be fine for someone.” – Kacie, who has, after all, done this before. Poor Chris.

“This is literally my worst nightmare; I am so bad at volleyball.” – Daniella.

Last week I pointed out Daniella’s misuse of the word “literally”. She may be using it correctly this time. Maybe she really does have horrible dreams about playing volleyball.

“This is going to be an ugly game.” – Taryn

I think she meant that it would be very competitive but it turned out to be ugly because these girls are bad at volleyball. Like, really bad. (And I’m bad at volleyball too, so I know what I’m talking about.)

“Oh my gosh, I am just, like, so amazed by you.” – Lindsay

This lady is a teacher? Really?

“You look so good in your little bikini.” – Sean, to Desiree.

Now, I like Sean and Desiree. Their interactions and repoire seem like they are actually boyfriend and girlfriend. They’re very comfortable together and it’s nice to watch. This, however, seemed like a weird thing to say on TV.
“This isn’t a sprint. It’s a marathon.” – Amanda, who maybe really is making an audition tape for a coaching job.

“I don’t think he’ll tolerate drama so I’m going to use it to my advantage.” – Kacie

Oh, Kacie, Kacie, Kacie. Did you learn nothing on your first season of The Bachelor? (Clearly not or why would you come back?) Guys don’t like drama, you’re right. But being the girl to tell a guy about drama makes you look dramatic. Being that girl on The Bachelor never goes well. (Being that guy on The Bachelorette, however, has a slightly better record.)

“Why are you saying something to me? They both seem fine. Why are you involving yourself?” – Sean to Kacie.

I loved this response. Also, when he told her she was being crazy.

“My plan doesn’t seem to be panning out.” – Kacie.

“Nothing will go wrong today.” – AshLee, before her one-on-one date with Sean.

Obviously something is about to go wrong. Cue Tierra falling down the stairs.

“As a guy who’s had several concussions, my first though is, we gotta get her to a hospital.” – Sean

Sean does seem like the kind of guy who would have a few concussions, right? (And I don’t mean that he’s dumb, I mean that he’s the type of person who would keep doing something that causes concussions even after he’d had one or two. Like playing football.)

“Maybe Sean is her magic potion.” – Catherine, who seems skeptical of Tierra’s quick recovery after Sean’s arrival.

It did seem odd to me that when Tierra first falls there is the crew around her but as soon as Sean arrives, there’s nobody but him. Is he a trained medical professional? Why is it up to him to decide that she needs to go to the hospital?

Long, non-dramatic story short, Tierra does not go the hospital and Sean and AshLee go to Six Flags. I was disappointed in AshLee’s lack of excitement when she learned they had an amusement park to themselves. Also, both AshLee and Lesley M. were way more dressed up on their dates than Sean.

“Look how manly he is.” – re: Sean carrying a giant stuffed giraffe.

“I can feel the love coming from your heart.” – Sean to AshLee.

What does that even mean? (I did secretly like it that Sean cried over AshLee’s life story.)

“I’m only doing this because I see the big picture. I trust that it works because it worked for me before.” – Sean, at the rose ceremony.

Except…it didn’t work for you, Sean. Emily chose someone else. And it didn’t work for her either because she’s single now.

“I want to punch some walls.” – Tierra, who likes punching, I guess.

“I have way too much respect for you to make you stand through another rose ceremony.” – Sean to Kacie before sending her home.

This sounds really nice until you consider the fact he has no problem making all the other women stand through a rose ceremony, particularly Taryn and Kristy, who he sends home at the end.

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