“It seems like everything’s going very, very well.” – Chris Harrison, who must have just gotten the recap from an intern somewhere.
Fact: Sean’s closet is not that tidy. I bet AshLee the Professional Organizer could help him with that.
“I want to take it to the next level and then the next level and then have…babies.” – Selma re: her first date with Sean
“I definitely want Sean to see that I do have a heart.” – Leslie H. Because you can’t assume that people have all of their organs.
“The other night Selma mentioned that people are quick to judge her based on her looks.” – Sean. (This may be true because, let’s face it, Selma is very beautiful, but how do you bring that up about yourself in a conversation. “Did you notice how pretty I am? People judge me.”
Fact: Private planes aren’t really a surprise anymore on this show.
“He took the Iraqi to a desert.” – Selma
“I am so disappointed.” – Selma, re: her first date with Sean
“I’m not going to say there aren’t snakes out here.” – Sean, re: Joshua Tree National Park
“I feel puffy.” – Selma
Fact: Selma doesn’t like the heat. Sure, she rallies and seems to do okay with the rock climbing but I’ve never heard anyone complain so much on a date.
“Selma loved everything about today’s date.” – Sean
Fact: Not a fact.
“To kiss someone on national television – I think my mom would literally have a heart attack.” – Selma, who comes from a traditional Muslim background. (What about the yoga pants and cuddling with this white guy in a trailer park? How does your mom feel about that?)
Fact: If you were doing shots every time Selma says “culture”…well, you get the idea.
“I have aggression that I’ve been building up.” – Tierra. (For 24 years or so.)
“No, I totally have never done this before.” – Amanda, who lied about her roller derby expertise and made me laugh.
“Amanda could have a broken jaw and that could be dangerous.” – Sean (I think the danger part is finished and the horrible consequence part is beginning.)
Fact: I have had stitches on my chin on four separate occasions. I have never broken my jaw.
“Tonight I want them to let loose, spend time with me, and not worry about cracking their jaw.” – Sean, who should have thought about that before he took everyone on a roller derby group date.
“All I get is a kiss on the chin?” – Amanda, following her return from the hospital with her unbroken jaw.
“Girls need to start becoming women.” – Tierra, who just complained about the ladies acting like they were in high school. (That’s where girls become women, Tierra.)
“Have you talked to AshLee about this?” – Sarah to Tierra as AshLee sits down next to them.
“No, I don’t trust anybody here.” – Tierra
“Me?” – AshLee, who probably wishes she sat somewhere else
“Sean’s a great guy but why should I be tortured every day?” – Tierra
“She never responds. It’s so weird.” – Catherine
“It’s torture. It’s seriously torture.” – Tierra
Fact: It’s not.
Possible fact: Is Leslie H the first African-American to receive a one-on-one date in Bachelor history? Can anyone verify this for me?
“This is every girls’ dream.” – Leslie H, re: her “Pretty Woman” style date.
Fact: It’s not. I would find this date so horribly awkward.
“Maybe something around the neck?” – Neil Lane, who seems to have forgotten the word “necklace” despite being a jeweller.
“Fact: Leslie H and Sean have zero chemistry.
“Sometime’s a person is great on paper but it just doesn’t work out.” – Sean, who seems to know a thing or two about foreshadowing.
Fact: Watching Sean listen to Ben Taylor after he sent Leslie H home was awkward.
Also fact: Ben Taylor is the son of James Taylor and Carly Simon. With a musical pedigree like that, he should be doing better than performing on The Bachelor.
“At the end of the day I’m not going to let anyone bash a hammer over my head.” – Tierra (Uh, what? Was someone trying to?)
“I’ve learned to accept you for you.” – Tierra, to Robyn, in the world’s worst apology.
“Tierra-able.” – Catherine, who just became the most clever contestant on The Bachelor and my new favourite.
“I hate drama.” – Tierra (Please view The Law of Drama as graphed by xkcd.com. Shout out to my friend, Dawn, who reminded me of that comic in regards to Kacie in last week’s episode. Hi Dawn!)
“Unless it was detrimental to my relationship with Sean I don’t think there’s a need to say anything.” – Catherine re: Tierra. (And Catherine just became my favourite contender.)
(Also, total aside, but does Tierra remind anyone else of Whitney from The Bachelor Canada? But looks more like Britney Spears?)
Fact: Catherine, Desiree, Lindsey, Lesley, Robyn, AshLee, Sarah, Jackie, Daniella. Farewell to Amanda and Leslie H (who went home after her date.)
My picks for Sean’s final four, as of this week: Desiree, Lesley, AshLee and Sarah.
My favourites: Catherine, Sarah, and AshLee (Did anyone else notice how kind she was to Sarah? It made me like her.)