Finally, the ickiest episode of The Bachelor. The one where they travel to a foreign country and show their ignorance of that country’s customs. Oh, wait, no, I mean the episode with the “fantasy suites” where Chris Harrison sets up a weird situation.
Sean arrives in Thailand and tells us, “It looks like something out of a movie.” First of all, there is a movie set on the beaches of Thailand and it’s called The Beach so maybe that’s what you’re thinking of, Sean. Secondly, why is this always the statement goes to. Maybe if I were in space or somewhere fictional like Fern Gully, this would be a valid response. In Thailand? No. It doesn’t look like a movie. It looks like a real part of the real world.
Oh, no, Sean wears a tank top and wanders around some sort of tropical compound. His voiceover tells us what a big decision he hast to make, how difficult this is, etc, but on screen we see him looking pretty relaxed in a hammock.
Sean recaps his remaining three ladies:
- Ashlee is the strongest relationship, apparently. Sean likes that he doesn’t have to guess how she feels. That’s probably because she keeps yelling it aloud.
- “I thought Lindsay could be crazy and not a good crazy.”
- [Lindsay] is one of those girls who never seems to have a bad day. And I love that about her.” That seems like a dangerous statement to make so close to engagement. Real people have bad days. And when you’re married you have them in front of your spouse so you should be able to deal with each other’s bad days and bad moods.
- I can’t remember what he said about Catherine. I think it was nice.
Date #1: Lindsay
Sean and Lindsay visit Si Kao Market (Sean pronounces this as “sea cow”). They eat bugs and then go to Yongling Beach, also known as Monkey Beach. Because there are monkeys there
“You’re the best friend that I’ve been looking for.” Sean to Lindsay. So he came on this show looking for both a wife and a best friend. Dude, why can’t you meet any one in normal social circumstances?
“A lot of the things I was worried about faded away.” – Lindsay. Like AshLee and Catherine? Because I’d still be worried, if I were you.
Sean wears the swim shorts that they bought at the market, which I kind of loved because they’re pretty ugly. I’m surprised that they fit him. In my experience (as an averagely-sized Caucasian woman), nothing in Asia fits me.
They feed monkeys and I worry that they may not realise that if you pet certain types of monkeys you can never donate blood again. Did they investigate this matter before?
I don’t want to be mean but did it seem like Lindsay had trouble reading the fantasy suite invitation aloud? Maybe she was just nervous but she did not come across as a confident reader. Which is weird because she’s a teacher.
“I wanted someone who was funny, compassionate, and loving. And you’re both those things.” – Sean. That was three things, Sean. Or is Lindsay only two of those characteristics?
Lindsay says, “I love you.”
Sean say, “I love hearing you say that.” Ouch.
Date #2: AshLee
“AshLee told me a number of times she’s falling in love with me.” – Sean, who doesn’t seem that stoked.
AshLee and Sean have to swim through a cave to get to a private beach on the middle of an island. Of course, AshLee turns this into a metaphor about trust and being abandoned. Honestly, I would be freaked out too because I’m not that into dark, small places but I also think this would be so cool. What I was really focused on though was that I’m pretty sure my parents have been to that exact spot. (Mom, if you’re reading this, you guys did this in Thailand, right? They left from Pakmeng Pier, if that sounds familiar?)
Over dinner, AshLee and Sean discuss marriage and why they are both still single. AshLee says, “I’m glad I waited.” Except, uh, she’s totally been married before. She got married at 17 which is the exact opposite of waiting for marriage.
“My heart wants to spend time alone with him.” – AshLee
“I knew you had a really special heart.” – Sean, to AshLee. Sounds like Sean and AshLee’s heart are connecting better than Sean and AshLee herself.
AshLee then goes on to describe what she wants in an engagement ring to Sean and tells him her ring size. Now, in the world of the Bachelor this seemed very forward. In the real world though, a few weeks before getting engaged, this is pretty reasonable, I think. Peter and I looked at rings together before we were engaged and I got measured and told him my ring size. (Fun fact: When Peter got my ring sized and told the jeweller my finger size, they asked him how old I was and if I weigh less than 100 pounds. I do not.)
Date #3: Catherine
They cruise around on a junk! I’ve always wanted to go on a junk!
Sean says he’s missed Catherine. Has he said this about anyone else?
“Snorkelling is awesome.” – Sean. I feel like he should wear this on a t-shirt.
“I feel like Catherine gets me better than anyone else.” – Sean
“I could see myself marrying you.” – Sean to Catherine. Whoa, is he allowed to say that? He seems to be making some pretty strong statements about Catherine.
“Sometimes it feels like we’re never alone.” – Sean, who seems to just now be noticing the camera crews.
They have a sweet moment when Catherine shares that she isn’t necessarily that comfortable with her body and never thought a guy like Sean would be interested in her and he tells her she’s “smoking hot”.
“I woke up in the morning knowing who I need to send home…It almost breaks my heart.” – Sean. Almost, but not quite.
As Sean chats with Chris Harrison (who gives such fine advice as “Make the right decision”) it seems as if he already knows his final choice.
AshLee does not receive a rose. She walks out of the rose ceremony without a word to Sean and simply stares him down as he says good-bye. After telling us that Sean has healed her brokenness, I feel like she isn’t going to handle this very well. I think either she’ll be broken-hearted and pine over him or she’ll decide from this moment that she hates Sean and be very bitter over the whole thing. The look on her face says she hates Sean.
We’re down to the final 2 ladies. Who’s it gonna be?