It’s Coming…The Bachelor 2014

That’s right, we are only weeks away from the newest season of The Bachelor. Hope you can handle your excitement. I didn’t watch the last season of The Bachelorette (Desiree’s) so I actually know almost nothing about our latest bachelor. His name is Juan Pablo, he’s from somewhere in South America, and I think he has a kid. This January, we’ll get to watch 20+ women vie for a stranger’s affections!

The bios of these women have now been released. What kind of a woman goes on a show like this? Let’s find out.

Ages range from 21 to 32. Average age = 24. Juan Pablo is 31.

2 of the ladies list “Home Alone 2” as their favourite movie.

Cassandra’s job is “Former NBA Dancer”. What? Does that mean she’s unemployed now? Do NBA dancers make so much money that she’s now retired?

Chelsie is a “science educator”. Why does this sound suspect to me? If she’s a science teacher, why doesn’t she say that? My guess is that she runs a meth lab.

Kelly lists her occupation as “Dog Lover”. Can I list my job as “Macaroni and Cheese Lover”? I mean, I don’t get paid to love Mac & Cheese, but I’m pretty sure you don’t get paid to love dogs either. You might get paid to groom dogs or to walk dogs, Kelly, is that what you do?

Lacy owns a nursing home. I find that genuinely interesting. I’d never thought about who owns nursing homes before.

Lucy’s occupation is “Free Spirit”. Again, not a job. Seriously, you would actually sound better if you answered honestly and said that you’re unemployed.

Highlights:

Amy J. likes the 4th of July because it’s “so romantic”. Americans, help me out, is it? I certainly would never think of Canada Day as a romantic holiday but maybe our countries celebrate nationhood differently.

Chantel thinks Miami is the most romantic city in the U.S. because that’s where her family lives. Does “romantic” mean something different in America?

Speaking of family, Lacy admires her parents for “loving 11 of us kids”. I’m sure she means that she has 10 siblings and her parents love them all but it definitely sounds like maybe there are 13 kids and her parents only love 11 of them.

Elise is 27 and lists her longest relationship as lasting 8 years. So she’s likely been in a relationship her entire adult life and is now going on a reality dating show. That seems healthy.

Cassandra’s phobia is that she is “slightly afraid of heights”. So we’ve learned that Cassandra doesn’t know what a phobia is.

Christy takes precisely 1 hour and 20 minutes to get ready for a big night.

Elise is from a town called Forty Fort and that made me laugh.

When asked if she’s a city or a country person, Lucy answers, “Neither. I’m an ocean person.” Like a mermaid?

When Maggie is asked the same question she replies, “American by birth, Southern by the grace of God.” So she clearly didn’t understand that question. Bless her heart.

Lucy wins the title of Most Likely to Annoy by stating that she believes she deserves to be the centre of attention.

Nikki’s favourite type of dancing is “drunk dancing”. Keep it classy, Nikki.

Sharleen is our token Canadian and I swear I’m not just being biased when I say that, based on her bio, she seems like the smartest contestant.

Then again, how smart can you really be if you’re a contestant on The Bachelor?

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4 thoughts on “It’s Coming…The Bachelor 2014”

  1. I told myself I wouldn’t watch anymore bachelor shows, but then I won’t be able to keep up with these awesome posts of yours!

  2. I don’t think I’m going to watch this season (I didn’t like Juan Pablo on Desiree’s season), but I sure do look forward to following along on your blog! PS – nice refresh on the blog layout!

    1. Yeah, I’m not sure how I feel about this season. I have a suspicion that I’ll watch the first couple of episodes and then get bored. But I’ll blog what I watch so you can suffer with me!

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